A Very Special Family Guy Freaking Christmas

Plot
After Lois repeatedly reminds Peter to donate a present to charity, he mistakenly donates all of the family’s Christmas gifts to a needy kids’ charity.

Lois seems unfazed by the mistake, but insists that the entire family shop for new presents at the mall. Peter reluctantly agrees, although he only wants to watch KISS Saves Santa on television; Brian stays behind to keep an eye on the turkey cooking in the oven.

Lois encourages Stewie to star as baby Jesus in a nativity scene during the Quahog Christmas pageant. Although Stewie initially resists, he eventually plays along in hopes of pleasing Santa, who he believes is omnipotent and thereby can supply him with plutonium.

While the family is shopping, an ember shoots onto the rug from the fireplace; while Brian tries to deal with this crisis, the overcooked turkey begins to burn. Brian finds a fire extinguisher, but to his dismay it is merely a novelty item filled with plastic snakes, which, upon being released into the fire, promptly explode and make it worse. He curses Peter for this. The interior of the house is destroyed, but Brian escapes with minor burns. Amazingly, Lois maintains a cheerful attitude, saying that they just need to clean up a bit; but when Meg tells her that there are no more paper towels, Lois freaks out, in a parody of the “wire hangers” scene from Mommie Dearest. She screams at the family about how difficult it is to ensure that Christmas happens without a hitch, then runs from the ruined house on a rampage. (Meg then finds some paper towels mere seconds after Lois rampages out.)

Lois storms through town, berating happy people enjoying the season for their ridiculous optimism. When she reaches the town square, she begins to climb the huge Christmas tree there, bent on destroying the ornamental star on top. The rest of the family arrives and Stewie, eager to perform a good deed to earn Santa’s grace, performs an extemporaneous monologue about Jesus and the meaning of Christmas. Lois, watching Stewie, regains her sanity and begins to descend the tree; at that moment the police shoot her with a powerful tranquilizer dart at Peter’s urging.

The next morning at Christmas, the family has gathered in the charred living room, happily opening their presents; Stewie gets his plutonium, Peter gets his own copy of KISS Saves Santa, and Lois, as Peter would put it, is as cheerful as ever, despite still being heavily sedated, sitting limply in a rocking chair and drooling. In the closing scene, the Griffins wish everyone a merry Christmas (though Lois is still too numb to speak clearly).