Humbug

Lyrics:
Fred: Merry Christmas, Uncle Scrooge!

Scrooge: Humbug!

Fred: Oh, be merry, Uncle Scrooge!

Scrooge: Ha-ha-ha-ha!

What's so merry on Christmas Day?

The merry money you throw away?

The merry bills you have to pay?

When you say "Merry Christmas," I say BAH!

Fred: Here's a present, Uncle Scrooge.

Scrooge: Humbug!

I think that you're a fool to waste your cash!

What's the present you always buy?

A handkerchief or an awful tie,

Look at this tie and you'll know why

When I get Christmas presents, I say TRASH!

B.A.H. Humbug Esq.: (Spoken) It's you.

Fred: But everything at Christmas is so jolly and lively,

The Christmas trees and wreaths of holly...

Scrooge: Poison Ivy!

Fred: The Girls and Boys who dream about St. Nicholas.

Scrooge: St. Nicholas?!! Ridiculous!!!

Fred: Don't you like him, Uncle Scrooge.

Scrooge: Humbug!

Fred: Good old Nicholas.

Scrooge: That's all a lot of slosh!

{Bob and B.A.H. Humbug Esq. Gasped}

Scrooge: I abominate old St. Nick.

His reckless spending make me sick.

I think St. Nick's a lunatic!

When you say "Old St. Nicholas," I say BOSH!

Fred: (Spoken) Oh, Don't be angry Uncle. Come dine with us tomorrow.

Scrooge: (Spoken) Christmas Dinner? What a repunerent revolting instatution.

Fred: Oh, don't you want a juicy Christmas turkey?

Scrooge: Detest it!

Fred: Plum pudding with a brandy sauce?

Scrooge: Can't digest it!

Fred: You'll get a mellow feeling with humanity.

Scrooge: Humanity... Insanity!!!

Fred: You'll enjoy it, Uncle Scrooge.

Scrooge: Humbug!

It maybe fun for you but not for me.

I'm not merry on Christmas day.

I'm never happy, I'm never gay,

If you think I coud feel that way

Then you are just as stupid as can be.

If you think I'll be merry.

And chirp like a canary.

Then you are even dumber than a dumb-bug!

When you say "Merry Christmas," I say Nonsense!

Fiddlesticks!!

Poppycock!!!

and just plain Humbug!

Humbug!

Humbug! Humbug! Humbug!