I Really Don't Hate Christmas

Lyrics
You see Valentines is tortureAnd my birthday is a mess!New Year's is a lot of noiseAnd Arbor Day's a pest!Halloween's a horror,But I guess I must confessThat I really don't hate Christmas!You see Flag Day is infernal.April Fool's is just a bore.Mardi Gras a wasteUnless you own a candy store.All these other holidaysI can admit that I abhor,But I really don't hate Christmas.Now it isn't that I like it,At the most I feel ambivalence!But should I really just destroy it?I'll admit that I'm still on the fence.It makes me tense!From the evil scientist communityI'm sure to get ejected.But for Christmas I can seem to summonAny true invective.Because what is there to hate?I mean it's really so subjective!Though I really don't hate Christmas.I hate puppy dogs and kittens,I hate flowers in the Spring!I even hate the sunshineAnd the birdies when they sing.I can work up animosity for almost anythingTell me why I don't hate Christmas.Though my childhood was atrocious,Christmas never was that bad, you see!So the best that I can musterIs complete and total apathy.What's wrong with me?How can I prove that I'mAn evil villain worth his saltWhen with a holiday so jollyI can't even find a fault?If I didn't feel ambiguousI'd launch a big assault!But I really don't hate Christmas!...Ah what the heck? Kick line!No I really...No I really don't hate Christmas!I have an intense burning indifference!