The Twelve Days After Christmas

The Twelve Days After Christmas is a Christmas song written by Frederick Silver that picks up where the original left off.

Lyrics

 * The first day after Christmas, my true love and I had a fight.
 * And so I chopped the pear down and burned it just for spite.
 * Then, with a single cartridge, I shot that blasted partidge,
 * That my true love, my true love gave to me.


 * The second day after Christmas, I pulled on my rubber gloves
 * And very gently wrung the necks of both the turtle doves,
 * My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.


 * The third day after Christmas, my mother caught the croup;
 * I had to use the three French hens to make some chicken soup.
 * The four calling birds were a big mistake,
 * For their language was obscene.
 * The five golden rings were completely fake
 * And they turned my fingers green.


 * The sixth day after Christmas, the six laying geese wouldn't lay:
 * I gave the whole darn gaggle to the ASPCA.


 * On the seventh day what a mess I found:
 * All seven of the swimming swans had drowned,
 * My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.


 * The eighth day after Christmas, before they could suspect,
 * I bundled up the...
 * Eight maid a-milking,
 * Nine ladies dancing,
 * Ten lords a-leaping,
 * Eleven pipers piping,
 * Twelve drummers drumming
 * And sent them collect.


 * I wrote my true love, "We are through, love"
 * And I said in so many words,
 * "Furthermore your Christmas gifts were for the birds!"