Capn' Cragg's Pirate Song

Cap'n Cragg's Pirate Song is the song featured in 2004's In Search of Santa. Composed by Michael Lloyd and Keth Heffner with lyrics by Lloyd and Michael Ashner, the song is heard when Penguin Princesses Crystal and Lucinda, along with their newly-found friend Pup, was shocked by the introduction of Cap'n Cragg while they aborad his ship the "Blubber Belly" with his first mates Bubkus Bill and Timebomb Tom.

Song
Crystal, Lucy and Pup are shocked while Cragg sings about humself. Bubkus plays the accordion, and he & Timebomb provide the background vocals. While Cragg sings, two flashback cutaways are included:
 * At the dental place, Cragg opens his mouth with the stinky smell for the male hygienist. The hygienist screams as he smells.
 * At the grassy park, there is a baby who is licking a lolipop, which is a pink/white swirl with colorful sprinkles, in a baby stroller. Cragg takes the lolipop and bites it, leaving it with only the stick.

Lyrics
(The variation of the Sailor's Hornpipe plays; Bubkus plays the accordion)

Cap'n Cragg:
 * Who's the saltiest, surliest scuffler
 * Who plungers all he sees?
 * Who never says: "Thank ye, you're welcome"

(Bubkus sneezes with a "Ahchoo!")
 * Or "gesundheit" when you sneeze?

Timebomb: Uh, ga-hoo?

Cragg:
 * Who's the ugliest and thugliest
 * The meanest amd obscenest?
 * Whose habits are uncleanest
 * And so fearsome you hygienists?


 * The king of all the no-account
 * Gnarly nasty knave?
 * Who's that tusky tank of terror
 * who very rarely bathes?

Bubkus & Timebomb:
 * He's known to boast and the brag
 * The nefarious Cap'n Cragg

Cragg: Ah lads, you know me too


 * Who's got a bite wise than his bark
 * And a chronic case of rabies
 * He's toothier than a shark
 * And steels candy from cute babies


 * He's never to be trusted
 * He's a dirty lying cheat
 * Without him all your nightmares
 * Would seem so incomplete

Bubkus & Timebomb:
 * He's a fiendish scallywag,
 * The nefarious Cap'n Cragg

Cragg: One more time.

Bubkus & Timebomb:
 * He's a stinking old windbag,
 * The ne-fari-ous Cap-'n Craaaaaagg

Cragg: (pushes Bubkus & Timebomb away) Haha, that's me.