Christmas Specials Wiki
Christmas Specials Wiki


Christmastime Is Killing Us (From "Family Guy")

"Christmastime Is Killing Us" is a song from the Family Guy hour-long two-parter "Road to the North Pole". In it, Santa Claus and his elves complain about the hardships of working every day until Christmas Eve making presents and receiving all of the kids' wishlists, and how it's made Santa ill and the elves mutated.


Santa: Each bell would peal with a silvery zeal
As the holiday feeling was filling us
But now instead, all we're feeling is dread
Because Christmastime is killing us

Elves: Each Christmas list gets us more and more
Till the thought of existence is chilling us

Santa: I'll tell you what
Shove your list up your butt, because...

Santa and Elves: Christmastime is killing us

Stewie: But can't you see that what you do
Is a dream come true?
Can't you see that every smile
Makes it all worthwhile?

Santa: No, screw you!
It's all but through
There's too much to do
All those dreams are nightmares
and blank icy stares

Each little elf
used to fill up a shelf
Making playthings
and selflessly thrilling us
Now they're on crack
and it feels like Iraq
Because Christmastime is killing us

Elves: Each model train
only heightens the pain
Of the workload that's
straining and drilling us

Santa: Fingers all bleed
And look! That guy just peed
Because Christmastime
is killing us!

Stewie: But can't you see our point of view?
We rely on you
Can't you see that Christmas cheer
Gets us through the year?

Santa: My whole crew
is black and blue
Can't you take a clue?
You may think I look great,
But I'm twenty-eight (28)!

Santa and Elves: Each jingle-bell
is a requiem knell,
And while you think it's swell,
we are toiling in!l

Santa: Take a look, you can tell,
as a man, I'm a shell!

Santa and Elves: Because Christmastime is killing us!
Killing us!
Christmastime is killing us!