"How the Griffin Stole Christmas" is the fifth Christmas episode of the FOX animated sitcom Family Guy, produce and aired as the ninth episode of its fifthteenth season. The title itself is a reference to Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas!.
When Christmas comes around Quahog, the Griffins, after watching How David Lynch Stole Christmas, decide to go sledding instead of attending church. Mayor Adam West, at first, bans sledding from Quahog. After a fight with Peter Griffin, he renounces the decision. When sledding, the Griffins go sledding on the dining room table, except for Lois who protests that the table has been in her family for generations. The family however go sledding on it while wearing go-pro cameras, but they get injured when hitting the bottom and subsequently destroy the table. When going to the mall to replace the table, Chris wants to sit on Santa's lap despite the fact that he is in high school. Upon seeing the long line, Peter complains to a mall patron who reveals that their current mall Santa is a drunk. Seeing how Peter looks, the patron decides to hire him as a substitute.
Meanwhile, Stewie discovers that Brain has been crashing office Christmas parties for free alcohol and is about to attend one. When attending a party, he tries to impress a girl, but it fails. Stewie arrives to survey how Brian is failing at his malingering, but decides to stay at seeing the free food. During Christmas parties they attend at the printer company Printex, Stewie makes a stir that pleases the employees and the employer who gives him a job.
After one of his shifts ends, Peter goes to purchase a burrito, but the cashier gives it to him for free, making Peter discover that he can have his way at the mall as Santa. He decides to stay until Christmas, much to Lois's skeptism. Peter begins using his disguise as Santa to gain leverage against other people, like a meter maid, a music conductor, and getting spaghetti at a strip club while intoxicated. When he passes out after exiting the strip club called the Fuzzy Clam, he wakes up and meets the actual Santa who is crossed with him for abusing Santa's name and making him look like a jerk. Peter brushes him off and takes some of the spaghetti home for dinner, but Santa decides to put a strike on Peter as he quotes "You better watch out." One of Santa's elves was seen exiting the Fuzzy Clam and goes the other way upon seeing Santa. Santa starts by sending some forged texts to Joe Swanson by going with him to Build-a-Bear Workshop. Peter counteracts by replacing one of Santa's reindeer with a real reindeer, but it backfires when the elf with Santa cuts the real reindeer loose and it falls through the Griffin family's roof and onto their dinner table. The next day, Peter receives a box containing Meg Griffin's farts and calls Quagmire, Cleveland and Joe over. When Peter looks into it, something happens to Peter's face.
At Printex, Stewie discovers that his riot has gotten a woman fired when he checked to see if her Internet is slow. Stewie soon realizes that working in an office is not all great, so he decides to spread some holiday cheer by giving out some $11,000.00 checks to the other employees before resigning from the office.
Outside the Drunken Clam, Peter sees Santa's sleigh and decides to hijack it. As Peter writes "Wash Me" on the dirty part, he discovers too later that it was a trap as Santa strangles him with his belt. Santa withdraws when Peter agrees to stop wearing the suit. After Peter apologizes to Santa, Santa gives him a Penthouse magazine he found in the woods when he was 12 years old. When Peter commented that he must've been a terrible Santa portrayer, Santa states that someone else was worse than him as he shows a magazine where it's cover has Bill Cosby dressed as Santa. Santa then leaves and as Peter waves goodbye to him. He narrates that he forgot about that Christmas as a result of a drunken hangover that took his family to restrain him.
|Seth MacFarlane||Peter Griffin|
|Alex Borstein||Lois Griffin|
|Seth Green||Chris Griffin|
|Mila Kunis||Meg Griffin|
|Mike Henry||Cleveland Brown|
|Christine Lakin||Woman at Party|
|Kate McKinnon||Farmer's Date|
|Ty Simpkins||Little Drummer Boy|
|Alec Sulkin||Jesus Christ|
|Ursula Taherian||Gina Devereaux|
|Fred Tatasciore||Quahog Concert Hall Announcer|
|Josh Robert Thompson|
|Jennifer Tilly||Bonnie Swanson|
|Patrick Warburton||Joe Swanson|
|Adam West||Mayor Adam West|
|Nickie Bryar (uncredited)||Various|
- Family Guy Wiki: How the Griffin Stole Christmas
- "How the Griffin Stole Christmas" at the Internet Movie Database