"Jesus, Mary and Joseph!" is the third Christmas episode of the FOX animated sitcom Family Guy.


As the Griffins prepare for Christmas by decorating their tree, Meg finds an ornament of the manger and Peter tells the story of Christmas.

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Joseph and his friend, Robby, spot Mary in their village and he introduces himself to her. After many dates, he is annoyed by her reluctance to have sex who admits she feels like there is something special intended for her. While working with the guys, she comes and asks to have a word with Joseph later. At her house, she tells her that God has blessed her with his child and she is pregnant. She tells of a visit by an angel who told her to prepare and Joseph accepts this.

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Back at the Griffin home, Peter and the family call their Aunt Helen although the call doesn't go well and Peter returns to the story.

On the way to Bethlehem, Joseph is skeptical about the baby. Elsewhere, three wise men receive a message and head to Bethlehem themselves. As Joseph and Mary arrive in town, the wise men cross the desert. They stop at King Herod's palace for water and tell him of traveling to see the coming messiah. He decides to protect his title by killing the child. At an inn, they are unable to get a room due to a Cher concert until Mary's water breaks.

In the stable, Mary ponders what to call the new child until the angel takes their list to God who stumbles onto an idea from the angel. The wise men argue on the way as they think they are following a plane and the doctor tells of an unsuccessful attempt with another messiah. They arrive with their gifts as the child is born. With the drummer boy, the entire group is assembled as King Herod arrives and demands the child. Stewie as Jesus creates a fighter from his manger that destroys Herod's troops as Peter finishes his story. A pregnant couple arrives telling of their car breaking down and seeking aid but are given the cold shoulder by the family who threatens to call the cops.


Voice actor Character
Seth MacFarlane Peter Griffin/Stewie Griffin/Brian Griffin/Glenn Quagmire/Carter Pewterschmidt/Dr. Hartman
Alex Borstein Lois Griffin
Seth Green Seth Green
Mila Kunis Meg Griffin
Mike Henry Cleveland Brown/Bruce/Consuela
Patrick Warburton Joe Swanson
John G. Brennan Mort Goldman


The episode made its home video debut on the Family Guy Christmas: Ho Ho Holy Crap DVD, released exclusively ay f.y.e. in 2013.

External links

20th Century Studios
Miracle on 34th Street (1955 remake) (1973 remake) (1994 remake) • Die HardDie Hard 2Home AloneHome Alone 2: Lost in New YorkGeorge Balanchine's The NutcrackerTrapped in ParadiseJingle All the WayHome Alone 4The Family StoneDeck the Halls12 Men of ChristmasHome Alone: The Holiday HeistJingle All the Way 2
Television episodes and specials
Live-action shows
"Dear Dad" • "Dear Sis" • "Death Takes a Holiday" • "All About Christmas Eve" • "Christmas Story" • "Santa Baby" • "Kay's Gift" • "Merry Catnip" • "Christmas Carol" • "Emily" • "How the Ghosts Stole Christmas" • "Amends" • "Cookies for Santa" • "The Man in the Fallout Shelter" • "The Santa in the Slush" • "The Goop on the Girl" • "A Very Glee Christmas" • "Extraordinary Merry Christmas" • "The 23rd" • "Glee, Actually" • "Santa" • "Previously Unaired Christmas" • "LAXmas"
Animated shows and specials
The Simpsons and Futurama "Simpson Christmas" • "Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire" • "Marge Be Not Proud" • "Miracle on Evergreen Terrace" • "Grift of the Magi" • "Xmas Story" • "Skinner's Sense of Snow" • "She of Little Faith" • "A Tale of Two Santas" • "'Tis the Fifteenth Season" • "Simpson Christmas Stories" • "Kill Gil, Volumes I & II" • "The Futurama Holiday Spectacular" • "The Fight Before Christmas" • "Holidays of Future Passed" • "White Christmas Blues" • "I Won't Be Home for Christmas • "The Nightmare After Krustmas" • "'Tis the 30th Season" • "Bobby, It's Cold Outside" • "The Way of The Dog" • "A Springfield Summer Christmas for Christmas"
King of the Hill "The Unbearable Blindness of Laying" • "Pretty, Pretty Dresses" • "Hillennium" • "'Twas the Nut Before Christmas" • "The Father, the Son, and J.C." • "Livin' on Reds, Vitamin C and Propane" • "Ms. Wakefield"
Family Guy, American Dad!, and The Cleveland Show "A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas" • "The Best Christmas Story Never" • "The Most Adequate Christmas Ever" • "Rapture's Delight" • "A Cleveland Brown Christmas" • "Road to the North Pole" • "For Whom the Sleigh Bell Tolls" • "Murray Christmas" • "Season's Beatings" • "Die Semi-Hard" • "Jesus, Mary and Joseph!" • "'Tis the Cleveland To Be Sorry" • "Minstrel Krampus" • "Christmas Guy" • "Dreaming of a White Porsche Christmas" • "The 2000-Year-Old Virgin" • "How the Griffin Stole Christmas" • "Ninety North, Zero West" • "Don't Be a Dickens At Christmas" • "Santa, Schmanta" • "Christmas is Coming" • "Yule. Tide. Repeat."
Bob's Burgers "God Rest Ye Merry Gentle-Mannequins" • "Christmas in the Car" • "Father of the Bob" • "Nice-Capades" • "The Last Gingerbread House on the Left" • "The Bleakening" • "Better Off Sled" • "Have Yourself a Maily Linda Christmas" • "Yachty or Nice"
Other cartoons "Hook's Christmas" • "A Christmas Surprise for Mrs. Stillman" • Olive, the Other ReindeerIce Age: A Mammoth Christmas • "Miracle on Culpepper Slims Boulevard"
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