|“||Put that cookie down! Now!!||”|
Jingle All The Way is a Christmas comedy film released in 1996, directed by Brian Levant and starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sinbad, Phil Hartman, Rita Wilson, Jake Lloyd, James Belushi, and Robert Conrad. Inspired by real-life Christmas toy sell-outs for products such as the Cabbage Patch Kids and the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, it was written by Randy Kornfield. Producer Chris Columbus of Home Alone fame rewrote the script, adding in elements of satire about the commercialization of Christmas, and the project was picked up by 20th Century Fox. Delays on Fox's remake of Planet of the Apes allowed Schwarzenegger to come on board the film, while Columbus opted to cast Sinbad ahead of Joe Pesci as Myron. It was set and filmed in Minneapolis-St. Paul at a variety of locations, including the Mall of America. After five weeks of filming, production moved to California where scenes such as the end parade were shot. Its swift production meant merchandising was limited to a replica of the Turbo Man action figure used in it.
Howard Langston (Arnold Schwarzenegger) is a hard-working employee at a mattress company, and is stuck doing extra work on the day his son, Jamie (Jake Lloyd), is earning a purple belt in karate. Despite his promise to make it, he runs into trouble with a traffic jam and Officer Alexander Hummel (Robert Conrad), a sadistic cop who forces him to do a sobriety test after catching him speeding on the shoulder. Because of all this, he ends up missing the karate class. In order to make it up to Jamie, he promises to get him anything he wants for Christmas. What he wants is the immensely popular "Turbo Man" doll, based on the Saturday-morning live-action TV show of the same name. Unfortunately, Howard had promised to buy it earlier in the year and, as is the habit with him, promptly forgotten about it. To add further salt to the wound, he learns from his wife Liz (Rita Wilson) that Turbo Man dolls are the must-have gift of the season and that they virtually impossible to find especially this close to Christmas.
Desperate to not disappoint his family again, Howard sets off on a wild goose chase all over Minneapolis-St.Paul to find the doll. At the first store he gets to, he meets Myron Larabee (Sinbad), a post office worker who's son wants a Turbo Man doll as well. It is eventually revealed that this is going to be a "no holds barred" scavenger hunt, with lots of shoving, fighting, arguing, and worse. Throughout Howard's quest, the many stores he hits and the chaos that ensues at each one ultimately results in nothing, and at one point he has another run in with Officer Hummell when he accidentally knocks over his squad motorcycle. During a stopover at the Mall of America, Howard is lured into buying a doll from a con Santa (Jim Belushi), who is the leader of a large counterfeit toy-making group. Unsurprisingly, he ends up paying $500 for a Spanish speaking doll that falls apart the moment he opens the box. Angered at being ripped off, Howard calls the gang "a bunch of sleazy conmen in red suits" and ends up in a brawl with them. The police arrive and bust the ring, and Howard manages to get out of trouble by posing as an undercover officer using a toy badge.
Exhausted and out of fuel, Howard stops at Mickey's Diner and uses their payphone to call home, intending to tell Liz the truth. Jamie answers the phone and, instead of getting Liz, keeps reminding Howard of his promise to to be home in time for the Christmas parade. Losing his patience, Howard yells at Jamie and demands that he give the phone to Liz. In turn, Jamie scolds his father for never keeping his promises and hangs up. Howard encounters Myron at the diner and they share their woe stories over alcohol; Myron explains that he resented his father when he didn't get him a Johnny Seven OMA for Christmas when he was young. Their conversation is interrupted when the KQRS radio station advertises a Turbo Man competition, and whoever can correctly name all of Santa's reindeer wins the prize. Resuming their rivalry, Howard and Myron accidentally damage the payphone while fighting over it, forcing the two to race to the radio station on foot. They barge into the studio (prompting the freaked-out DJ to phone the police) and give the correct answer, only to discover that the prize is just a gift certificate. Enraged, Myron threatens the DJ with a package that he claims to be a mail bomb, but it turns out to be a fake. The police arrive (along with Officer Hummell) and Myron bluffs them into backing off by producing another package and claiming it to be a bomb. After Howard and Myron flee, Officer Hummell inspects the package and declares that it is harmless, only for it to explode in his face when he opens it (revealing that it actually was a bomb).
After returning to the diner to find that his car has been vandalized, Howard decides to give up the search and returns home to explain everything to Liz, only to discover his next door neighbor, Ted (Phil Hartman), (who always seems to be homing in on Liz when he is not around) in his house putting his star on his tree! His blood boiling with anger, Howard exacts revenge by breaking into Ted's house and stealing the Turbo Man doll he bought for his son, Johnny. However, he has a change of heart at the last minute as he could not see himself stealing from a child. Before he has a chance to replace it and escape, he is confronted by Ted's pet reindeer and he unintentionally sets some stuff on fire in the ensuing chaos. This causes him to be caught by Ted and a distraught Liz, who both leave to attend the Holiday Wintertainment Parade with Jamie and Johnny.
Broken, Howard decides to to keep the one promise he can, by making his way to the parade to be with his family. Meanwhile, Ted attempts to make a pass at Liz, only to be hit with a thermos of eggnog after she sees who he really is. Upon arriving at the parade, Howard runs into a bandaged Officer Hummell and accidentally drenches him with hot chocolate. In the ensuing chase, Howard escapes into a preparations room for the parade where he is mistaken for a replacement for the actor who will play Turbo Man on the so-themed float, where he gets the opportunity to pick a child to present a coveted limited-edition Turbo Man doll! Naturally, he picks Jamie, but before Jamie recognizes him, Myron shows up dressed as Turbo Man's archenemy, Dementor (having bound and gagged the real actor), and chases Jamie all around the street, with the crowd thinking that this is part of the act. Howard does his best to keep up, but has little skill in controlling the Turbo Man suit. In the end, he defeats Myron and saves both Jamie and the doll. Jamie is sad that his dad wasn't there to see it… until Howard removes his helmet to reveal his true identity!
Meanwhile, Myron is being hauled off by the police, dismayed by his ultimate failure to retrieve the doll and give it to his son for Christmas. Touched by his words, Jamie gives it to him, saying that he no longer needs it, saying his father is the real Turbo Man. Myron and Howard apologize and become friends, and Howard apologizes to a shocked Officer Hummell for everything. He is declared a hero and is crowd-surfed away. At home, Christmas Eve is finally spent right, as the star is mounted on the tree, and everyone's happy. Liz is so happy that Howard was willing to do so much to get a present for Jamie, that it has her wondering what he got for her. The shocked expression on his face tells the whole story.
TVT Records released the film's soundtrack album on CD on November 26, 1996. It features only two of composer David Newman's pieces from the film score, but features many of the songs by other artists that are included in it, as well as other Christmas songs and new tracks by the Brian Setzer Orchestra. The track listing is as follows:
|1||"Jingle Bells"||The Brian Setzer Orchestra||2:18|
|2||"So They Say It's Christmas"||Lou Rawls and the Brian Setzer Orchestra||4:05|
|3||"Sleigh Ride"||Darlene Love and the Brian Setzer Orchestra||2:36|
|4||"Run Rudolph Runv||Chuck Berry||2:44|
|5||"It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year"||Johnny Mathis||2:47|
|6||"Merry Christmas Baby"||Charles Brown||4:47|
|7||"Back Door Santa"||Clarence Carter||2:09|
|8||"The Christmas Song"||Nat King Cole||3:10|
|9||"Jingle Bell Rock"||Bobby Helms||2:12|
|10||"Father and Son"||David Newman (composer/conductor)||3:00|
|12||"Deep in the Heart of Christmas"||The Brian Setzer Orchestra and Darlene Love||2:52|
Of the songs featured on the soundtrack album, "Deep in the Heart of Christmas" does not actually appear in the film. Conversely, the soundtrack album does not include the Turbo Man theme, "Christmas All Over Again" (performed by Tom Petty) or "The Little Boy That Santa Claus Forgot" (performed by Jim Belushi and the Santa chorus), the last of which appears only in the extended cut.
On November 3, 2008, Intrada Records released a CD of David Newman's full score for the film, as the 80th volume of the Intrada Special Collection album series. It was a limited edition of 10,000 units. Prior to this release, only "Howard & Jamie" and "Rescue Jamie and Finale" had appeared on the soundtrack album, titled "Father and Son" and "Finale", respectively.
|3||Howard & Hummel||1:34|
|4||Turbo Man Commercial||0:32|
|5||Howard & Jamie||3:07|
|6||Abusing the Help||2:08|
|9||Riot in the Workshop||5:27|
|10||Here's To You Dad||2:53|
|11||Music Box Bomb||2:01|
|13||Breaking & Entering||2:57|
|14||Drinking With Reindeer||1:48|
|15||Howard in the Taxi||1:40|
|17||Turbo Tom Marching Band #1||2:05|
|18||Turbo Tom Marching Band #2||2:10|
|20||Howard Saves the Day||5:01|
|21||Rescue Jamie and Finale [Original Version]||4:01|
|22||Turbo Tom Marching Band #1 [With Guitar]||2:05|
|23||Rescue Jamie and Finale [Revised]||3:59|
|Arnold Schwarzenegger||Howard Langston|
|Phil Hartman||Ted Maltin|
|Rita Wilson||Liz Langston|
|Robert Conrad||Officer Hummell|
|Jake Lloyd||Jamie Langston|
|James Belushi||Mall Santa|
|E.J. de la Pena||Johnny|
|Laraine Newman||First Lady|
|Richard Moll||Dementor (TV)|
|Daniel Riordan||Turbo Man (TV)|
|Jeff Deist||Booster (TV)/Puppeteer|
|Ruth Hjelmgren||Judy (Single Mother)|
|Caroline Kaiser||Mary (Single Mother)|
|Shawn Hamilton||Sensei's Assistant|
|Lewis Dauber||Toy Store Manager|
|Bill Schoppert||Father at Toy Store|
|Courtney Goodell||Little Girl at Toy Store|
|George Fisher||Daring Shopper|
|Chris Parnell||Toy Store Sales Clerk|
|Patrick Richwood||Toy Store Co-Worker|
|Kate McGregor-Stewart||Toy Store Customer|
|Marcus Toji||Little Boy with Car Remote|
|Fathers on Phone|
|Mo Collins||Mother on Phone|
|John Rothman||Mall Toy Store Manager|
|Mall Toy Store Employees|
|Allison & Hayley Benner||Toddlers|
|Sandra Horner||Toddler's Angry Mom|
|Danny Woodburn||Tony the Elf|
|Bruce Bohne||Santa at Warehouse Door|
|Paul 'The Giant' Wight||Huge Santa|
|Santas in warehouse|
|Alan Blumenfeld||Cop at Santa's warehouse|
|Traci Christofore||Little Girl (Petting Reindeer)|
|Sandy Thomas||Mother in neighborhood|
|Martin Ruben||Father in neighborhood|
|Nick La Tour||Counterman|
|Phil Morris||Gale Force|
|Marianne Muellerleile||Tow Truck Driver|
|Amy Pietz||Liza Tisch|
|Walter von Huene||Taxi driver|
|Steve Van Wormer||Turbo Man float parade worker|
|Curtis Armstrong||Chain-smoking Booster|
|Jim Meskimen||Police officer at parade|
|Martin Valinsky||Police officer escorting Myron|
|Rochelle Vallese||Girl at parade|
|Kids in Turbo Man commercial|
|Marc Ambrose||Balloon wrangler|
|Greg Bronson||Toy store shopper|
|Susan Chambers||Frantic shopper|
|Kevin Deon||Crazy Shopper|
|Matthew Feeney||Curious man|
|Trish Gates||Store clerk|
|Tracy Lines||Turbo shopper|
|John Murray||Video camera dad|
|Phaedra Neitzel||Santa's helper|
|Lori J. Ness||Nun|
|Maridean Shepard||Grandstand parade watcher|
|Yeardley Smith||Woman (Flirts with Howie)|
|Joel Thingvall||Toy store shopper|
|Verne Troyer||Mini Santa|
|Ryan Wotherspoon||Playground attendant|
Home media releases
- The costumed characters seen in the parade include Barbie, a Cabbage Patch Kid, the Cat in the Hat, Ernie and Bert, Gumby, Hello Kitty, Leonardo, Madeline, Paddington Bear, Raggedy Ann and Andy, Sonic the Hedgehog, Snoopy, and the Tick.
- Joe Pesci was considered for the role of Myron Larabee, but Levant chose Sinbad to play Myron instead.
- This was the last film to feature Phil Hartman during his lifetime before his death two years later on May 28, 1998.
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