Christmas Specials Wiki
Christmas Specials Wiki

"Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo" is a song originally featured in the South Park episode, "Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo", sung by Kyle Broflovski. An extended version of the song was written for the introduction of the episode, "Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics".


"Mr. Hankey, The Christmas Poo"[]

Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo
he loves me and I love you
Therefore, vicariously he loves you even if...

"Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics"[]

We've all heard of Rudolph and his shiny nose
And we all know Frosty whose made out of snow
But all of those stories seem kind of... gay
Cuz we all know who brightens up our holiday

Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo
Small and brown he comes from you
Sit on the toilet here he comes
Squeeze him between your festive buns

A present from down below
Spreading joy with a "howdy ho"
He's seen the love inside of you
Cuz' he's a piece of poo

Sometimes he's nutty
Sometimes he's corny
He can be brown or greenish-brown (Mmm Mmm)
But if you eat fiber on Christmas Eve he might come to your town.

Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo
He loves me I love you
Therefore vicariously he loves you

I can make a Mr Hankey too!
(fart noise)

Well Kyle where is he?

He's comin'

C'mon dude push!

I'm trying!

Oh wait wait I can see his head!

(fart noise)

Mr. Hankey:
I'm Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo
Seasons greetings to all of you

Let's sing songs and dance and play
Now before I melt away
Here's a game I like to play
Stick me in your mouth and try to say

Howdy ho ho yum yum yum
Christmas time has come!
Sometimes he's runny
Sometimes he's firm

Sometimes he's practically water
Sometime he hangs off the end of your ass
and won't fall in the toilet
Cuz he's just clinging to your sphincter

and he won't drop off and so you
shake your ass around and try to get it to drop in the toilet
and finally it does

Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo
When Christmas leaves he must leave too
Flush him down but he's never gone
His smell and his spirit lingers on....
Howdy ho!