"The Christmas That Almost Wasn't Then It Was" is the uncredited song from The Simpsons episode "Skinner's Sense of Snow". The spoof of The Christmas That Almost Wasn't is shown at Springfield Elementary School as Seymour Skinner's favorite Christmas movie, teasing the students about How the Grinch Stole Christmas!.
[At Springfield Elementary School, which remains open during a snowstorm…]
Principal Skinner: Children, I'm proud of you. Most of our students didn't bother to show up on this last day before Christmas break, but… You're kept intact my Cal Ripken-like streak of school "openage".
Milhouse Van Houten: Hey, where are the teachers?
Skinner: Eh, their union just called an emergency caucus.
[Meanwhile, in a ski resort…]
Teachers: Caucus, caucus, caucus (2x)
[Back in school…]
Skinner: [Pulling down windowshades] But we'll have the last laugh on those Johnny-come-not-lies. We're gonna watch my favorite movie about a Grinch-y little character who tries to steal Christmas
Students: [All exclaiming as Skinner starts a projector]
[The low-budget feature starts as Santa Claus' elves making toys in his workshop.]
Santa: Ho, ho, ho. What's that, Blitzen? Why, yes, it is Christmas Eve.
Male Elf #1: [walks in] I'm happy. [walks out]
[Suddenly, three Freddy Kruger-like creatures comes in through the door to Santa's Workshop]
Male Elf #2: (Gasp) It's the Christmas hobgoblins!
[The hobgoblins start ruining the toys and some of the elves]
Nelson Muntz: What the hell is this?
Skinner: Ha, ha. It's classic mirth-making, is what it is.
[Skinner still feels proud as the students got tried of the film]
Hobgoblin: I will always
Spend my days pitching
woo-oooo to yo-oooo-ou
[Little Bo Peep sighs happily as her sheep falls down flat]
Milhouse: Oh! He's been singing for two hours!
Lisa Simpson: This couldn't have less to do with Christmas. [points out] And I think that's a stagehand.
Bo Peep: And I love yo-oooo-ou
I am you and you
Oh, you and me-eee
together you can see-eee
[The film breaks out]
Nelson: Ha-ha! Next time get a DVD!
Skinner: This is a DVD!
[Skinner ejects the DVD out of the projector and kills the fire with his shoe]
Well, you won't get to see Santa's big sing-off, but seeing as we're close to the usual dismissal time--
[checks his wristwatch] two, one --
[School Bell rings] there it is.
Take off and have a frank and productive holiday.
Skinner: [pulls a windowshades to see the window itself snowed in; gasps] Oh, dear God!
Lisa: Principal Skinner! We're snowed in.
[The entryway of the school's exit doors is snowed in]
Nelson: We're trapped in the school!
Milhouse: We're gonna miss Christmas!
Skinner: I fixed the DVD.
Students: [Screaming, as the shot shows the entire school covered up in snow]
[Cut to black; End of Act I]
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