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− | This one doesn't even make sense. It's December on the planet Eternia, and everyone is preparing for Prince Adam's birthday. Then Orko the magician happens to crash-land a space shuttle on Earth, like you do, and he meets a couple of |
+ | This one doesn't even make sense. It's December on the planet Eternia, and everyone is preparing for Prince Adam's birthday. Then Orko the magician happens to crash-land a space shuttle on Earth, like you do, and he meets a couple of kids named Miguel and Alisha who are out shopping for a Christmas tree. |
The kids explain Christmas to Orko, and he's so moved by it that he basically kidnaps the kids and brings them back to Eternia, tree and all, where they end up in the middle of He-Man's ongoing war against the implacable forces of darkness. The children are captured by Skeletor, but he gets a sudden attack of Christmas spirit, giving them winter coats and hardly even trying to kill them at all. |
The kids explain Christmas to Orko, and he's so moved by it that he basically kidnaps the kids and brings them back to Eternia, tree and all, where they end up in the middle of He-Man's ongoing war against the implacable forces of darkness. The children are captured by Skeletor, but he gets a sudden attack of Christmas spirit, giving them winter coats and hardly even trying to kill them at all. |
Revision as of 02:30, 10 December 2008
(ABC, 1982) Okay, so get this: Pac-Man and his family are out riding in their snowmobile when they're chased by a pack of angry killer ghosts. Pac-Man eats his emergency Power Pellets, and chomps the ghosts. The monsters' eyes float up into the sky, where Santa Claus is passing by. The reindeer are spooked by the ghostly eyes, and the sleigh crashes into PacLand -- leaving Santa stranded in a world where even a simple family snowmobile ride becomes an opportunity to eat your ghoulish spectral enemies. |
(syndicated, 1985) This one doesn't even make sense. It's December on the planet Eternia, and everyone is preparing for Prince Adam's birthday. Then Orko the magician happens to crash-land a space shuttle on Earth, like you do, and he meets a couple of kids named Miguel and Alisha who are out shopping for a Christmas tree. The kids explain Christmas to Orko, and he's so moved by it that he basically kidnaps the kids and brings them back to Eternia, tree and all, where they end up in the middle of He-Man's ongoing war against the implacable forces of darkness. The children are captured by Skeletor, but he gets a sudden attack of Christmas spirit, giving them winter coats and hardly even trying to kill them at all. |
(syndication, 1977)
And that's exactly what happens. Plus, Nestor's mom freezes to death, and there's a big-cheeked angel with no pants on. |
(direct-to-video, 2000)
Then Grandma turns out to be alive after all, but she's got amnesia and living in the North Pole with Santa. Then Cousin Mel and an evil attorney called I.M. Slime kidnap Grandma and frame Santa. And then Grandma's fruitcake gets laced with reindeer-nip. And then... oh, never mind. |
(CBS, 1978)
Well, this isn't that Sesame Street Christmas special. This is the other one. This is the one where Leslie Uggams teaches Oscar the Grouch the true meaning of Christmas by asking Imogene Coca to dress up as the Ghost of Christmas Past. This is the one where Ethel Merman sings "Tomorrow" from Annie, and Anne Murray sings an inappropriately romantic song to Big Bird, and Henry Fonda wanders onto the set wearing a bathrobe. I swear to God this really happened. It was on TV and everything. |
(syndicated, 1974)
Oh, yes, it is too, and you know it. Yes, it's got the Heat Miser song, which is catchy, and it's got the Snow Miser song, which is the same thing but in the other direction. But what else do you remember about it? Nothin'. It stars two elves named Jingle Bells and Jangle Bells. Remember them? They're trying to get a reindeer out of the dog pound. Does that help? Didn't think so. |
(HBO, 1978)
Just imagine Rich Little impersonating Truman Capote playing Tiny Tim, lisping, "God bleth uth, every one!" This was entertainment in 1978; presumably everything on the other channels was even worse. |
(CBS, 1987)
So in 1987 they made a whole Christmas special based around the California Raisins singing "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer". Then they had to stretch it to fill a half-hour, so the rest of it is mostly a couple of dinosaurs arguing about what "Here We Come a Wassailing" means. |
(NBC, 2008)
Also, ever since I saw it last month, I just can't think of the word "Worst" anymore without automatically thinking, Rosie Live! So here it is. |
(CBS, 1978)
By the way, 1978 was also the year of Rich Little's Christmas Carol and A Special Sesame Street Christmas. What a merry Christmas that must have been! |
So what are your least favorite Christmas specials? If I missed the one you hate the most, add it in the comments below!